It's not that you're gay
by mysterious mangos
Summary: Supernatural college AU. Destiel. Dean and Cas move in together after Castiel's been evicted, and Dean has to come to terms about what he truly feels about Cas' sexuality . this is lowkey trash, i will *probably* come back and polish this turd


It would be Dean Winchester's own bad luck. He jogged down the hallway, growling to himself that the college campus is too-big, too easy to get lost in. He will not run. So, what if he's a little late on his first day? He's a college man now, an adult. It was Sam's fault anyways-hogging the bathroom to brush and style his princess hair. One day he swears he's going to take some clippers and mow it down. Dean halted, and took a breath before opening the door to his classroom. "Name?" Dean swiveled to face who he would guess is his professor. "Winchester, Dean." The dirty blond stated, carding his hand through his short spikey hair. "Alright…go with Novak, he'll catch you up and be your partner." The professor jerked his scruffy chin towards a small -looking boy, with pale skin and a head of raven hair that looks suspiciously like he just had a romp in the sack. The boy was hunched over a book, Dean had the urge to reprimand his posture. "All right" the younger man whispered, mostly to himself.

He walked over to the available desk next to his now partner, sat down his bag, and plunked into the seat. The kid, that Dean only knows as 'Novak' looked up, a look of surprise ghosted his face, but it quickly returned to a look of neutrality. "hey, name's Dean. Looks like we're partners, so, catch me up." The dirty blond said, leaning forward, resting his weight on his desk so that he can get a closer look at the kid, who looked kinda familiar. "Hello, Dean. I'm Castiel…" Castiel? That name rings a bell. "Castiel Novak? We went to school together, didn't we?" Dean asked, short, blurry memories of Castiel flash in his mind. "yes, we had a few classes together" Castiel nodded, but looked rather bored-or was it displeased? Dean couldn't really tell, it didn't seem that the other man had a very expressive, well, anything. "we were partners before as well." Cas mused, shuffling through his papers. "we have?" "yes, for science lab. We had be partnered for the final project, and after the first day together, I recalled you disappearing." There it is. Dean leaned back, and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Right…listen, sorry about that, I was going through something'…" Dean sighed, stretching a bit. "I do not need your apology, Dean, just a promise that this time you'll actually be here." "For sure! Yeah, you got it, Cas." Dean responded, sitting up straighter. The other man quirked his eyebrow at the nickname, but said nothing. "lucky you, you have _the_ Dean Winchester at your service. Some girls would kill to be in your position." Dean smirked at his classmate. The smallest ghost of amusement crossed Castiel's face.

Dean wondered why he hasn't hung out with Castiel before. Sure, the older man is a bit rough around the edges, but, he eventually becomes a pretty cool person. "Alright, Cas, enough! We've been at it for hours." The younger man groaned, slumping onto the table for their booth. Castiel cocked an eyebrow. "we've been working for thirty minutes, Dean." The older man responded, leaning back, and setting his pen down. There were papers scattered all over the table, and Dean's laptop was set up, facing Castiel. "thirty minutes to many." Dean grumbled under his breath. "I _heard_ that. What happened to _the_ Dean Winchester being in my servitude?" The dark-haired man asked, smirking. "I am, but servants get hungry." The dirty blonde shrugged, running a hand through his hair. Castiel only hummed in response, worrying his bottom lip a bit before signaling a waitress. Dean perked up considerably, and the boys both ordered a burger, fries and shake. Dean treated himself to a slice of apple pie, at Castiel's advisory.

"you come here often?" Dean asked when the waitress walked away, helping the older man organize the mess they made in preparation for their incoming food. "yes, my brother owns the place." Cas mumbled. "That's cool, I ever seen him?" "Probably not. In part of owning the diner, Gabe travels a lot for his candy company." "which candy?" "The company is called _'heaven's sweet tooth'_. Their most known confectionary is 'sugar high'" "sugar high?! My brother, Sam, used to live on those." The younger man claimed, smiling wide. "that's…awful." Castiel responded, Dean just smirked and nodded. "yeah, he wouldn't stop bitching until I snagged some for him…you have any younger siblings?" The dirty blond asked, absently scratching at the tattoo on his forearm. "Not that I'm aware of. I have five older siblings. Four brothers, one sister" "Big family. Why wouldn't you be aware? You do know how babies are made, yeah?" Dean quipped. Castiel shifted, his lips quirked down at the corners, but it left as soon as it appeared. He gave the waitress a soft smile as she sat down the food, and immediately started to stir his shake. Dean gently nudged the older man's leg with his foot. "Well, I don't really talk with my family anymore." Cas finally admonished, as Dean absently popped a French fry in his mouth. "We had a falling out my junior year. They didn't agree with some of my…" Cas paused, and wiped his mouth. "choices…and I told them to stuff it, moved out before they can kick me out and now I'm here… How about you?" Castiel asked. "mmm...well, my mom passed when I was four, and for years me, my dad an Sammy just moved everywhere. We went all over the country, going from school to school, my dad going from job to job. Eventually- junior year- actually, when I ditched you, my dad… disappeared. So, I dropped out, got my GED, and me and Sammy moved in with an old family friend, Bobby." Dean mumbled, sticking some ketchup drenched French fries in his mouth. "Did Sam drop out?" "Nope! Sammy pressed on with school, graduated at the top of his class. He got a full ride to Stanford, currently finishing up his law degree, and has firms wanting to hire him out the wazoo." Dean stated, grinning from ear to ear. "you're proud of him." Cas stated, smiling an Almost-smile. The younger man only nodded, still smiling when he took a bite of his burger.

After a few minutes of silent eating, Castiel wiped his lips and fingers, clearing his throat before asking "So… what are you doing at college? What are your plans?" "Bobby always wanted me to do more, so right now I'm just playing the field. If nothing really works out, I'll just become a mechanic full time, and co-own Bobby's scrap yard… what about you?" "I think I'll become a veterinarian." "you like animals?" Castiel almost-smiles again and nodded. "I actually love…everything living. The world is so beautifully complex… it took me awhile what I wanted to do, and honestly, I'm still not 100% if this is the profession for me, but, I'm particularly interested in animals at the moment." Castiel admonished, chewing the last of his fries. Dean smiled at his partner.

Much to Cas' distaste, him and Dean didn't end up doing a lot of work. They more talked, trading stories and pausing to eat their meals in silence. Dean found out the names of Castiel's siblings. (Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Raphael and Anna) His dad's name was Chuck, who has a sister named Amara. Cas' mother name was Daphne. Cas learned of the supposed tiring task of raising Sam Winchester, along with learning a bit of what Dean was willing to share about his father, John, and his 'uncle' Bobby. "Do you need a ride home? We can take baby." The young man offered, throwing some bills on the table when he stood up. "Baby?" asked Castiel, cocking his head to the side, following the younger man out the diner and a few blocks down the road until he stopped at a glossy metal black car. The car seemed to be in pristine condition, and Castiel couldn't help but smile when he saw the younger man's face split into a grin. Dean beamed, and gestured grandly to the vehicle. "Baby." He simply stated as he did so. Castiel checked the back. "A Chevy?" he asked, sweeping his eyes over the car that the younger man had obviously grown very attached to. "67' Chevy Impala." Castiel whistled, as Dean opened the car and hopped inside. Castiel slid into his passenger seat, and surveyed the interior. There were light signs of wear, and if it wasn't for the cassette player, Castiel would've thought that it only was a few years old. "It's- ""she" "… _she_ is in great condition." Castiel mumbled, to which Dean smiled, and turned the engine over. The older man jumped when rock started blaring through the stereo. Dean only laughed, shut off the speakers, and smiled sheepishly. "sorry, box of cassettes is under your seat. See if you find anything you'd like." Dean mumbled, gesturing vaguely as he peeled onto the asphalt. Castiel snorted in amusement as he shuffled through the cassettes. "what?" "Nothing" "No, no, what?" Cas chuckled, surveying the cassettes. "it's 2017, ad I'm shuffling through cassettes" The older man smiled at the driver. "hey, consider yourself lucky. Rule number one, driver picks the music, shot gun shuts his cake-hole." Dean grinned at his partner, snatching the copy go zeppelin 2 that Castiel had in his hand, and switching it out. Dean kept the volume low, but he turned up the heat. Castiel and him sat in silence, Cas listening to the new music while dean hummed along. Castiel tilted his head, hearing something that wasn't the song. "what is that?" he asked, reaching forward and turning the music down even more. "what is what?" "That rattling." Dean smiled, and leaned back into his seat, a far-off look coming to his too- green eyes. "Legos."

* * *

Unlike Sam Winchester, who made friends as easy as breathing, Dean always had a hard time getting along with others. He was always a wall and while he prided himself in never being explicitly rude, he wasn't Mr. joe social either. Years of being harden by his father's iron fist showed. That being said, it surprised Sam when his big brother came home with a friend. The friendship seeming to be smooth and effortless. But hey, never look at a gift horse in the mouth, right? Castiel's presence soothed Sam. He felt better about leaving his brother's apartment for his new semester at Stanford. The younger Winchester hated leaving his brother alone, he felt like he couldn't keep a good eye on him. "Don't be afraid to mother him, okay?" Sam asked, quirking his eyebrow at the shorter man, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Of course, Sam. Do not worry, I promise you Dean is in capable hands." The older man responded, patting Sam's hand, and giving him a small almost-smile. Sam smiled back. "Dean, get your furry ass down here! I gotta go!" The youngest Winchester exclaimed, hoisting a bag onto his shoulder. There were thumps, a crash, a curse, and out popped a Winchester. "alright…" he huffed. Dean's green eyes held sadness, but he still smiled at his little brother. "Be good, Sammy… and say hi to Jess for me, alright?" he mumbled, smacking his brothers arm, Sam smiled. "yeah, of course. I'll call you when I get there." Sam mumbled, smiling at the older men. The brothers hug, one as full of a testosterone need to be manly as any hug could ever be, but, it eventually melts away at Sam's persistence. Cas and Sam shook hands, Sam giving the older man a stern look, to remind him of his task. Castiel smiled, gave Sam a quick nod, his mouth twisted to try and hide a smirk. The youngest gave him a clap on the shoulder, and finally left the apartment with a parting wave. Dean let out a heavy sigh, and closed the door shut with a click. He turned to face Castiel with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Thank GOD. That man is gassier then a zeppelin." He chuckled.

* * *

Dean moved forward, carefully holding the two cups of coffee and a bag of doughnuts in his hands. He walked toward the table that was occupied by a small framed man with messy sex hair. "Cas, some help man." Dean grunted, trying to balance the things in his hand. The older man had a delayed reaction, as he didn't so much as look up until Dean hit the leg of the table with his boot. "Castiel!" the raven-haired man jumped a bit, muttered, and took the coffee out of his friend's hand. He immediately started sipping the one with a 'c' marked on with a sharpie as Dean settled in the seat across from him. The younger man huffed, observing his friend, who was now clutching the coffee like it was life line. Castiel, well, frankly, looked like crap on a stick. The man's eyes had more bags than a airport, he had unruly stubble, and he looked about 20 years older. "who pissed in your cereal this morning?" Dean asked taking a small sip of his coffee so that he wouldn't scald his tongue. Castiel didn't answer. Just threw a glare Dean's way as he gulped his own coffee. Dean frowned, feeling concern bubble up into his throat. The younger man tapped his friend's foot with his own. "Cas." "yes, Dean?" the gruff voice sounded, sounding heavy with sleep and irritation. "what's wrong?" "nothing of import." Castiel said with a sort of finality that demanded that the topic should change. "Castiel." Dean started, smirking a bit at how fast the older man looked up, not being used to hearing his friend using his full name. "what is wrong?" Dean asked, dropping the 'big brother' voice that he had perfected over the last several years. Castiel frowned, tapping his nails against the cardboard sleeve, worrying his lower lip. The older man took another long gulp. "…My apartment…" he started, sighing, finally looking into his friend's eyes- even if it's only for a moment. "I'm getting evicted." "What? Why?" Dean asked, sitting up straight to give his friend his full attention. Castiel waved lazily to signal that he didn't want to get into it. Before Dean can argue with him, Castiel held up a hand. "I've got a few days before I'm out on my ass, so, I'm a bit stressed." The blue-eyed man mumbled into his coffee, taking another sip. It was Dean's turn to frown. "Cas, man, you could've came to me! I Could've helped you with rent or lookin' for a place-""Dean, please. I cannot come to you for everything. You're not my father." Castiel growled. "No, I'm not your dad, but I'm your best friend. Now I don't want to hear it, you're movin' in with me." "Dean." "No. Shut up and drink your coffee." The younger man commanded, leaning back in his chair and gulping his cup of liquid pep. Castiel sighed, and leaned forward, resting his weight on the table. "and sit up straight, dammit."

* * *

Dean settled back into his couch, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table, taking a sip of his beer and flicking on the tv. He lazily swept his eyes over the apartment, taking note that it was cleaner than when he left it this morning. He felt the corner of his lips tug up into a smile, taking another swig of 'thigh slapper'. He really could not get a better roommate than Cas. It's been a good few months since the blue-eyed man moved in, and Dean could swear that castile must've been sent from heaven. The two men have grown close, as far as Dean was concerned, Castiel was family; and It was very well known that Castiel feels the same for Dean. Only family could e aware of the dirty blonde's struggle with John. That was a textbook case of someone being so overrun with grief that it was taken out on others.

On the flipside, Dean knew of why Castiel eventually ran away from home, another textbook case of quiet homophobia that reared it's ugly head when little 5 year old Castiel kissed his male friend on the cheek in innocence. His parents reacted positively when he first did the action with his female playmate – and so he, seeking the praise once again did it to his friend, Tommy. Instead, he received five lashes with a belt and never saw Tommy again. The homophobia lied dormant, only rousing at, well, any act that could've been considered 'gay'. Once the blue eyed man realized that there was a complete and utter lack of heterosexuality in him, he bolted. Leaving only a note. It wasn't long before his family sent the message of 'good riddance'. Dean was livid to say the least. At least everything that john did could be attributed to a waning sanity. Cas' family were just a bunch of ignorant dicks. Dean felt himself frown, and he swigged his beer again. Honestly, what does being gay have to do with anything? A person's sexuality has nothing to do with their character. Bigger picture, right? The dirty blond was pulled out of his pit of thoughts when he heard the door knob jiggle. Castiel wretched the door open and stepped in. the older man stomped his boots to dislodge the snow, he smiled up at Dean, and started to shed his layers. Dean smiled at the snowflakes in his roommate's hair. The dirty blond stood up and walked over. "hey Cas." "hello, Dean" "hope you don't mind, but I'm making burgers, do you want some?" the younger man asked, giving his roommate's shoulder a light punch as he passed him into the kitchen. "two please" "two medium-well burgers comin' up, now go get warmed up" dean commanded, jerking his chin to the rooms for castile to get a move on. The older man grinned and did as he was told.

"how was your day" Cas asked from the other room as Dean flipped a patty. "'salright. Went to class, took a test." Castiel leaned against the entrance of the kitchen and he crossed his arms. "And?" "I passed." Deann shrugged, as he smeared some mayo on a toasted bun. "and you?" he asked, ducking his head a bit so that the older man didn't see Deans grin at the flush of pride he saw in Castiel's eyes. "it was great. My professor gave me the extension that I needed, aced my mock anatomy test…we got a new kid in class…" his voice faltered to a mumble, as he crossed the kitchen, pushing up his sleeves and washing his hands in the sink before starting to tear up the lettuce. Dean hummed for castile to continue, a cue that he didn't pick up on. "I'm going to assume you are gonna tell me more about this new kid." Dean stated, taking a second to look at Cas as he popped a pickle slice into his mouth. Cas cleared his throat, feeling himself flush a bit. "his name is Andrew, he's really nice …" he started, and again dean only hummed. "he…asked me out."

"shit!" Castiel jumped looking up to see Dean clutching his hand and hissing. "Dammit Dean, be careful!" Cas reprimanded, taking Dean's hand gingerly, starting to run it under cool water. "keep it under there, I'll get some ointment." He ordered, going to the first aid kit. Kid grabbed the burn cream, and he took Dean's hand from under the running water. He gently rubbed some ointment on the big splotch of red on Dean's skin. The younger man hissed, and reached forward to shut off the stove. The boys were now standing barely a foot apart, Dean leaning against the counter as Castiel wrapped up his hand. "Thanks…" the dirty blond mumbled as Cas put away everything. Cas nodded, and started to assemble the burgers. "go and sit, I'll bring the stuff out." Dean's face held a pout, but nodded and left the kitchen.

Dean smiled at Cas as he set down his place in front of him. "thanks Cas." The older man nodded, sitting down. "So…you have a date." Dean mumbled, before taking a bite. "yeah…this Friday." "Do you want me to clear out so you guys can be alone?" Castiel snorted, and gave Dean a small smirk. "As if. I don't sleep with someone on the first date, Dean." "it's your first date with a dude, yeah?" Cas nodded, sinking his teeth into his burger, and giving out and appreciative groan. Dean smiled softly, and continued to eat silently, refusing to acknowledge the dark emotion curling at the pit of his stomach.

* * *

The date had slipped Dean's mind completely. He had a long day at the scrap yard and it was a irritatingly longer-than-normal drive back to his apartment. He was half asleep on the couch when his half- lifted eyes drifted to the record player, and he remembered Cas; along with remembering that Cas is on a date. Dean sat up, giving himself a bit of a head rush. _No._ Dean did _not_ want to see that. The thought of it made his mouth go sour. It was too late though, the door clicked open, and Dean pretended to be asleep, but kept a eye open to see. "Thank you for the lovely afternoon." Dean heard the rough gravel of Castiel's voice. "No problem, I hope you had fun…" The man, Andrew, gave Cas a smile. He has thin lips pulled across bright white teeth. Andrew had a bush of pin-straight blond hair, grey eyes, and he was bit shorter than Castiel himself. Dean shifted, pressing his face in the couch pillow, hearing them mumble softly to each other. Dean peaked at the men. "I would invite you in for a cup of coffee…" ' _Don't. fucking don't.'_ Dean silently pleaded. "But my roommate seemed to have a rough day…" "oh, no problem! Another day then. See you later" Andrew smiled again, and leaned forward. Dean mushed his face into the darkness of his pillow so that he only heard the small smack of lips. He felt stomach blanche. The door clicked shut, and Castiel sighed a happy sigh, and turned on his heel, walking towards the couch. Dean felt a hand on his shoulder, gently rousing him. "Dean?" the older man felt himself blush a bit. "you're gonna get sick." Castiel reprimanded. Dean faced the older man. "are you okay? You look a bit flushed." The older man reached, placing the back of his hand on Dean's forehead. Dean jerked out of Castiel's touch, scrambling off the couch and away from the older man. "I'm fine, Cas." He almost growled, shoving his hands into his pockets. When he peaked at Castiel, he couldn't tell if he looked hurt, or angry, or what. The mask that took a good bit of chipping away at was back in place, as strong as ever. Dean couldn't look at Cas, and he didn't say anything, so Dean turned to go to his room to escape the suffocating silence. The Winchester flopped onto the bed, and groaned. What is wrong with him?

Dean Winchester didn't understand his own behavior. He felt like he never had a problem with gays before, but here he was, feeling the pit in his stomach twist when he saw Castiel and his boyfriend so much as look at each other. It's awful, and he knows it's wrong, but every bit of him tells him to avoid it at all costs. He can barely look at his best friend, and that didn't go unnoticed by Castiel. The bad pit in his stomach was all too familiar, and growing. It was the very same bad pit that he felt first pop into existence when he was five, that grew and became ravenous in high school, that Castiel was finally able to seal away in a box and bury deep when he reached a safe stability in another city.

Castiel wanted to talk to Dean about his odd behavior, but dean kept avoiding him, putting it off, and it has grown to the point where Cas hasn't seen his roommate in several days- nothing more than a passing greeting. Well, Castiel was sick of games, so, he devised a plan. He switched his Saturday schedule so that he would have the same day off as Dean, not informing the younger man of the change so that he can't run. Cas also packed a bag as a pre-caution, and had asked of Andrew if it was alright to stay with him a bit. The blue-eyed man was anxious to say the least, he felt as if he was sweating bullets and paced a rut into the hard wood paneling. Dean didn't look at Cas in the eyes when he got home on Friday night. He never looked at Cas in the eyes anymore. "hello, Dean." Dean jumped a bit. "hey, Castiel." Cas bit the inside of his cheek to hide his frown. He _hated_ it when Dean uses his full name. Dean was the first to call him Cas, but that nickname dried up on Dean's lips soon after Andrew walked in. Cas couldn't really figure out what to say to him, his brain was sluggish from the tiring task of dealing with the anxiety of tomorrow. Dean soon came back into view, a few beers in his hand, his body poised to go back to his room without another word to his roommate, but the dirty blonde paused, green eyes sweeping over Castiel, taking in the older man's nervous energy. "you alright, Cas…tiel?" He asked, his lips quirking down at how Cas was chewing on his cuticles. "yes! Um, I'm fine…" Dean's brow furrowed, not believing the blue-eyed man, but he figured that whatever it was didn't concern him. But he felt himself smirk a bit before he found himself asking- a little to smugly. "trouble in paradise?" a bit of hope bubbling into his throat. The question caught Castiel off guard, the older man worried his bottom lip, looking up and staring into Dean's eyes before answering with a quiet 'yeah'. Hoping that the younger man would sit on the couch with him so that they could just _talk_. Castiel felt his heart sink at the small smile that quirked at Dean's lips before it was shielded by the bottle, the green-eyed man taking a swig of its contents. "sorry to hear that. Night!" a clap on the shoulder, and the bowlegged man disappeared behind his bed room door.

Dean sighed, and slinked into his bead, taking another swig of beer "that wasn't a total douche move. Good job, Dean." He grumbled to himself, carding his hand through his hair. Why? Why does Cas having relationship problems make him happy? He pouted. Well, no, it doesn't. Dean does not like the idea of castile being upset, though, he did like the idea of Andrew being upset. What was Andrew doing that upsets Castiel? He could be hurting him. Dean snarled. _'no one hurts my Cas'_. Wait… _his_ Cas? Dean felt a icy chill run down his spine. Castiel is _not_ his. Cas is nobody's! not his. And _not_ Andrew's. definitely not Andrew's. But he kind of is… they're dating, committed. Dean felt himself frown again. Cas shouldn't be dating Andrew if he is making him unhappy. The Winchester sighed, and took another swig of beer, he's not sure what to do. One thing is for certain, he does _not_ like Cas being in this relationship.

* * *

Dean woke up to the smell of bacon, and he wasn't sure if he should be ecstatic for the bacon, or terrified at the idea that Castiel was still home. Dean carded his hand through his hair, mentally assembling a pros and cons list of getting up. His stomach snarled its demand, so he snarled and ripped off his bed sheets. Cas swallowed nervously, wiping his hands on his apron, and quickly busying himself with the bacon, peaking at Dean as he shuffled into the kitchen. The Dirty blonde's hair was stuck up haphazardly, and his pj bottoms fitted loosely on his hips. He's shirtless, so Cas saw the one tattoo on his chest. "hungry?" Castiel asked, tearing his eyes away from his chest, moving to flip the pancakes. "yeah… I'll serve myself…thanks…" the younger man mumbled, grabbing a plate and serving himself a bit of everything that was available. "what…are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" Dean asked quietly, pouring himself a bit of orange juice. "normally, yes, but I took the day off so that we could talk." Cas mumbled, serving himself single handedly, gesturing for Dean to sit at the table. Cas didn't miss the nervous gulp that came from Dean, the scrape of the chair legs against the floor made him jump. Cas cleared his throat, and plunked down into the seat across from Dean.

The silence was awkward and palpable, the only sound was of Dean scarfing down his food. "Dean." The dirty blond looked up, his face paling a bit. "yeah?" "Do you have a problem with my being gay?" Dean visibly flinched, ducking his head a bit. "No." His voice was quiet, he was picking around his food. Castiel frowned. "I do not appreciate being lied to, Dean." This time it was Dean's turn to frown, looking straight into his roommate's face. "I'm not. I do not care that you're gay." His voice was louder, more authoritative and sure. "oh, bull! Bull!" Cas exclaimed, throwing down his fork and crossing his arms. "…you should eat…" "ugh! Dean! Would you please stop messing around!" Cas demanded. Dean frowned, looking a bit affronted, but didn't say anything. "you told me you fine with what I am." Cas sighed, leaning back into his chair. "I am, Castiel." "Are you really? Because ever since Andrew, you seem to no longer be even able to look at me. You started calling me Castiel, you avoid me like the plague. It…it feels like I'm back at home with my parents…" his voice dropped off into a whisper, and Cas started to pick at the lose threads on his clothes. "actually- "he started, sitting up, cutting off anything Dean was going to say. "It feels worse. You're supposed to be my best friend, Dean." Dean bowed his head in shame. "I…shit…I didn't want to make you feel like that. I don't have a problem with you being gay." The younger man stated, running his hand through his hair. Dean held up a hand when Castiel was about to retort. "…I have a problem with Andrew…" he whispered, green eyes flicking to look at the older man before drifting to his plate. "why?" Cas asked, leaning forward a bit to hear his roommate better. Dean felt himself flush a bit, the color on his cheeks making his freckles stand out. The younger man rubbed his neck nervously, his eyes darting around the room to avoid his roommate. "Dean." Cas almost growled.

The younger man pouted, eyes finally landing on the blue-eyed man. "I…Christ. I just…I hate the idea of him…touching you." He crossed his arms and slid his eyes to the wall. "What? My boyfriend can't touch me? Why?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. "Because!" he started, the pout deepening. Cas prompted him. "Jesus…" Dean sighed, covering his eyes. He feels ridiculous. He knows he's being ridiculous. But it was hard for Dean to express his emotions, and there were _so_ _many_ new emotions. It all came quick and it was odd and dear _lord_ it was complicated. He didn't have the time to sort through it deeply in all it layers. He only studied the surface level of these new feelings, and they were honestly quite terrifying. "because, Dean?" Cas prompted. "Because… I want to touch you…" Dean muttered, feeling the blush spread to his ears, he was refusing to look at Castiel. The older man had yet to say a thing after five minutes. Well, not five minutes so much as five seconds. Dean tore his eyes away from the small crack in the dry wall to look at Castiel, who looked stunned and confused. "I don't…Christ. I don't just want to touch you, though I would like that. But I just, I want… I want you. I want you…I want you to not be with Andrew. I want you to be with me, Cas." He babbled, feeling his nerves starting to over react. "I'm not sure when, I just, I just know that I don't like Andrew being with you. And I want you to be happy Cas, but I can make you happy. But if Andrew makes you happy it's alright. I have no right to be mad at you for liking him, I have no right to be jealous. I'm just…Christ… this is just all new and, and _frustrating_ and I hate myself for being a dick to you. I just- ""Dean!" Cas cut him off, and the Winchester looked at him, true to self- his face gave away to no emotions. Dean bowed his head a bit, he focused his eyes on the floor, before closing them and sighing. "Cas…" he started, looking up and opening his eyes only to be silenced by a soft press of lips against his. Castiel had his eyes closed, his brow a bit furrowed, his lips felt a bit chapped and sticky, tasting vaguely of maple syrup.

Cas pulled back, his face still stoned to emotions. Dean wasn't sure what to say. His brain was malfunctioning, not so much at the fact that he was just kissed by a man, but that fact that it was _Castiel_ that had kissed him. Cas' face cracked into a small smirk. "I left _the_ Dean Winchester speechless." He teased, his voice soft but husky. His brain was still disconnected from his mouth. _'say something'!'_ Dean snarled to himself. "kiss me again." He finally managed. Castiel smiled his soft almost- smile, his pink lips pulled lightly over white teeth, and leaned forward. Dean met him half way, slotting his lips with his roommates, his hands reaching up to cup his face. The kiss was slow, soft, his thumbs absently stroking Cas' jawline. He felt Castiel's scruffy facial hair lightly scratch against his five o' clock shadow. Dean pulled him closer, more flushed against him. The older man smiled into the kiss, nipped Dean's lower lip with his own, and pulled back. "no offense, Dean, but this position is kind of uncomfortable." He mumbled against Dean's skin, nuzzling the younger mans' cheek with his nose. Dean smiled, feeling better than he had in months.

"See, Cas. It's not that you're gay, it's that you weren't being gay with _me_."


End file.
